Self-compassion

By Graham Bennett Comment Closed
Instead of being overly critical or harsh towards ourselves when we make mistakes or face failures, self-compassion encourages us to approach those situations with understanding and encouragement. It allows us to learn from our experiences without dwelling on self-criticism or negative self-talk. Mindfulness plays a crucial role in self-compassion because it helps us acknowledge and accept our pain or shortcomings. By being aware of our emotions and behaviours, we can better understand ourselves and make positive changes. Recognizing our shared humanity is another important aspect of self-compassion. It reminds us that everyone experiences suffering and imperfections. Understanding that we are not alone in our struggles can provide comfort and alleviate feelings of isolation. The third component of self-compassion is self-kindness. Instead of being harsh and self-critical, we need to treat ourselves with the same care and compassion that we would offer to a friend or loved one. This shift in mindset allows us to nurture ourselves and develop a strong inner ally. Practicing self-compassion...
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How the Parasympathetic Nervous System Reduces Stress

By Graham BennettNo Comments
Understanding the Parasympathetic Nervous System When stress strikes—whether you're rushing to a meeting, struggling with bills, or pushing through a challenging workout—your body activates various systems, including the parasympathetic nervous system. With practice, you can train this system to better manage stress and promote relaxation. The parasympathetic nervous system is a crucial part of the autonomic nervous system, working alongside the sympathetic nervous system, which controls the body's fight-or-flight response. Often referred to as the "rest and digest" system, the parasympathetic nervous system helps the body relax, maintaining functions such as resting heart rate, metabolism, and breathing rate. The Role of the Parasympathetic Nervous System in Stress In today's world, many stressors trigger the body's fight-or-flight response, even when there's no physical danger. Situations like public speaking, missing a Zoom call, or running late for work can activate the sympathetic nervous system, keeping your body in a heightened state of alertness. The parasympathetic nervous system, through a process called downregulation, helps counteract this response...
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The Karpman Drama Triangle – Stephen Karpman

By Graham Bennett Comment Closed
This model describes the dynamic and shifting roles people play in conflicted or drama-intense relationships and is represented by an inverted triangle with three roles: the Victim, the Rescuer, and the Persecutor. The Victim role involves feeling or acting helpless, oppressed, and unable to solve problems. Victims often seek help from others and may unintentionally invite someone else to play the role of the Persecutor. The Victim's payoff is avoiding change or acknowledging their true feelings, even though it may perpetuate their negative emotions. The Rescuer, on the other hand, takes on the role of helping and fixing others. They feel guilty if they don't come to the rescue and believe their assistance can solve the problem. However, their rescuing behaviour can be counterproductive, as it keeps the Victim dependent and prevents them from taking responsibility for their choices. The Rescuer may also use their role to avoid dealing with their own problems and anxieties. The Persecutor, or Villain, blames others and asserts...
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What are boundaries?

What are boundaries?

By Graham Bennett Comment Closed
“A boundary is a limit or edge that defines you as separate from others” Boundaries can take many forms. They can range from being rigid and strict to appearing almost non-existent. If you have more rigid boundaries, you might: keep others at a distance seem detached, even with intimate partners have few close relationships avoid close relationships If you have more loose or open boundaries, you might: get too involved with others’ problems find it difficult to say “no” to others’ requests overshare personal information with others seek to please others for fear of rejection A person with healthy boundaries understands that making their expectations clear helps in two ways: it establishes what behaviour you will accept from other people, and it establishes what behaviour other people can expect from you. If you have healthy boundaries, you might: share personal information appropriately (not too much or not too little) understand your personal needs and wants and know how to communicate them value your own opinions accept when others tell you “no” Many of us have a mix...
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A Decade Ago, My Brain and Heart Divorced -John Roedel

By Graham Bennett Comment Closed
  My brain and heart divorced a decade ago over who was to blame for how big of a mess I have become. Eventually, they couldn't be in the same room with each other. Now my head and heart share custody of me. I stay with my brain during the week and my heart gets me on weekends. They never speak to one another instead, they give me the same note to pass to each other every week and the notes they send to one another always says the same thing: "This is all your fault" On Sundays, my heart complains about how my head has let me down in the past and on Wednesdays my head lists all of the times my heart has screwed things up for me in the future. They blame each other for the state of my life. There's been a lot of yelling and crying so, lately, I've been spending a lot of time with my gut who serves as my unofficial therapist. Most nights, I sneak out of the window in my ribcage and slide down my spine and collapse on my gut's plush leather chair that's always open for me and I just sit until the sun comes up. Last evening, my gut asked me if I was having a hard time being caught between my heart and my head? I nodded I said I didn't know if I could live with either of them anymore, "My heart is always sad about something that happened yesterday while my head is always worried about something that may happen tomorrow," I lamented. My gut squeezed my hand, "I just can't live with my mistakes of the past or my anxiety about the future," I sighed. My gut smiled and said, "In that case, you should go stay with your lungs for a while," I was confused, the look on my face gave it away. "If you are exhausted about your heart's obsession with the fixed past and your mind's focus on the uncertain future your lungs are the perfect place for you. There is no yesterday in your lungs, there is no tomorrow there either, there is only now, There is only inhale, There is only exhale. There is only this moment, there is only breath and in that breath, you can rest while your heart and head work their relationship out." This morning, while my brain was busy reading tea leaves and while my heart was staring at old photographs, I packed a little bag and walked to the door of my lungs. Before I could even knock she opened the door with a smile and, as a gust of air embraced me she said, "what took you so Long?” info@wildwoodcounselling.co.uk 07955235219 ...
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Anxiety

Anxiety

By Graham BennettNo Comments
Anxiety is a feeling of fear or worry about things that might happen in the future. It's a normal response to stress, but when it becomes too much or lasts too long, it can interfere with your daily life. Anxiety can cause physical and emotional symptoms such as restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and sleep problems. It's a common problem that can be treated with therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. ...
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