Wildwood Counselling & Supervision

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
— Jean-Paul Sartre

There’s something uncomfortable about this idea, but also something very real in it.

Most of us don’t choose the circumstances we’re born into. We don’t choose our family, the experiences we go through growing up, or the situations life puts in front of us. Things happen that we never asked for, and sometimes we end up carrying the effects of those things for a long time.

Because of that, it can feel unfair to hear that we are responsible for how we live.
It can sound like blame.
It can sound like pressure.
It can sound like being told it’s all on you.

But that isn’t how I understand it.

For me, this idea speaks to something many people know but rarely say out loud: life happens to us, and still, somehow, we are left trying to find a way to live with it. Even when we can’t change what’s happened, we’re still left with the task of making sense of it, responding to it, and finding some way forward.

That can feel heavy at times.
You might wish things had been different.
You might wish someone else had made things easier.
You might wish you didn’t have to carry what you carry.

But there’s also something honest in recognising that your life is still yours, even when parts of it were never your choice.

In counselling, this often comes up when someone feels stuck between what has happened to them and what they want their life to be now. Part of them feels held back by the past, by expectations, or by the fear of getting it wrong. Another part of them knows they can’t stay where they are forever.

The work we do together isn’t about forcing change, and it isn’t about pretending everything is in your control. It’s about looking honestly at where you are, what you’re carrying, and what choices might still be possible, even if they feel small at first.

Sometimes freedom doesn’t feel like freedom at all.
Sometimes it feels like responsibility.
Like having to decide who you are going to be, even when life didn’t give you the start you wanted.

But it can also mean that your story isn’t finished.
That you are not only what happened to you.
And that even in difficult circumstances, there is still space to live in a way that feels more your own.